#19: Coaching Sesh! When you think "Something terrible has to happen to balance the scales" with Ariell Ilunga

Ever get scared things are going TOO well for comfort?

Want an insider's look at how coaching really works?

This episode's for you!

In Part 2 of my conversation with client & friend Ariell Ilunga (Part 1 was Ep 18), we "clean out a cobweb" happening in her mind: This thought that "Something terrible has got to happen to balance the scales. You can't be happy for very long."

We give her space to explore what she's thinking & feeling honestly — no judging / avoiding / rushing away (how we do, in coaching 😉)...and we explore what she wants to do with that. How does she want to use it for her growth, how can she engage with it on purpose, going forward. De-lish!

Highlights:

• "I feel like I'm watching it unfold now, as opposed to actively pushing things around to make it happen. Which is really...gratifying and grounding, but also trippy at the same time, and weird and scary."
• "I visualize a lot...and at some point, there's gonna be this window where I have everything I want. I have my family, this amazing partner, these beautiful children, we're in our home that we bought...never thought that was gonna happen...and I have my store. And I'm standing there, and have all of it: everything I could possibly want."
• And then this fear comes up: "Something terrible's GOT to happen to balance the scales. You can't be happy for very long."
• Our coaching goes into the human tendency to Upper Limit our own happiness and we end up asking the question "What if you had such a wide window of tolerance for emotion that you could handle having everything you wanted, to the point that you didn't have to escape that feeling and rush off into your next To Do List?"
• And Ariell OWNS that she's already consciously changed her relationship with fear (she no longer tries to avoid it or shut it down immediately)...and she can exercise that SAME SKILL with other emotions, like joy, contentment, gratitude...YES!
• "What's dangerous about this? What will it cost me to let myself fully enjoy this moment?"
• We also craft Ariell's next Vision (the self-concept she's building on purpose): "I'm a person who isn't afraid of Joy. I know I'm capable of letting all of it in." SO GOOD 🤩

More links:

• Carla's Fresh Market Online Store: https://www.carlasfreshmarket.com/
• Find out where the next Live Pop-Up Pantry will be in Los Angeles: https://www.carlasfreshmarket.com/pop-up-pantry
• Follow on Instagram @carlasfreshmarket
• The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for October 2022!) https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
• Gay Hendricks' The Big Leap
• Dr. Rick Hanson's TEDxTalk "Hardwiring Happiness"
• Download the Transcript