#55: Manage Your Self-Expectations

Jun 08, 2023
Kirsten Parker
#55: Manage Your Self-Expectations
16:07
 

Are you walking around your life with ridiculously high expectations of yourself in everything you do? 

My guess is...probably. 😬

'Cause even though it's exhausting to always go "above & beyond" - that's also how you've created a TON of success for yourself. 

So how do you manage it? How do you balance "high standards" with "I want to actually rest sometimes and not burn myself out doing A+++ work on even the tiniest thing that I know doesn't really matter!"..??

That's what this episode is all about! 🙌

How to life the Curse of the High Bar. 

First, pay attention to where it's showing up in your life: 

  • Do you spend extra time on every little thing, and then resent yourself for it when you're exhausted later? 
  • Do you over-extend and over-commit, to the point that you have no energy or time left for yourself? 
  • Do you think doing anything less than "above and beyond" is lazy (or worry that other people will judge it as such)?
  • Do you constantly feel like you're behind / not productive enough / failing "at least a little bit" in a lot of places?

It's SUPER common to have the High Bar Curse mix with other  brain shenanigans like people-pleasing and impostor thinking, too. In which case, you show up to situations with the mindset of:

  • I have to give 110% on this or I'll be inconveniencing So-n-So
  • I should work harder / pay for everything / stay later than X, otherwise I'm being selfish
  • I need to do a good job to prove I deserve to be here -or- know what I'm doing

YIKES, right!

But once you spot it, you can stop it. 

Next, I want you to spend a week lowering the bar. 😱 

I know - terrifying - but stick with it and you'll change this Too-High-Expectations habit for life!

Rather than going into every task, big or small, thinking "I have to make this a 10 outta 10," you're going to choose what you want it to be, 1-10.

  • Tuesday's Presentation? Maybe that gets to be a 9/10 on the Perfection Scale. 
  • This email response? Perhaps that's a 7. 
  • Dinner plans? Those can be a 4.

It's not about "giving up and doing crap work for the rest of time" (also I've met you...that'll never happen 😅)

But it IS about giving yourself the option to give less time, money & energy automatically - because in all honesty, we can stand to lower the bar in a LOT of places in our lives. And nothing will catch on fire.

As you break the habit of always expecting above & beyond from yourself, you'll free up so many resources to spend on things YOU truly care about - Which will let you love so many more of your choices!

ENJOY.

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